Writer at a Crossroads

Maybe you could call this an update. I'm not sure I really have much to update anybody about but at least I can spend a few moments running over my state of mind right now. It's been a bit since I wrote anything I would call a blog post let alone anything interesting enough to relate here for those who still read my missives.

I've said previously that I'm done with ghostwriting. But, thing is, I didn't completely stop writing books on a for-hire basis. I wrote a few that way before I just hit a colossal wall related to the process. I initiated involvement in several books projects and ultimately ended the contracts before they even began simply because I just didn't want to write books that I would never be able to claim again and certainly would never gain anything monetarily. 

The kind of ghostwriting I was able to land did not pay good rates. I was lucky to get a penny a word, maybe two cents. 

Bottom line: People do not want to pay writers. You know the people that make their dreams possible as publishers and make them money. Content creators are constantly getting shit on. I just can't believe people still paying such paltry amounts for original fiction. More importantly, as a writer, we are just handing over all our rights to stories and copyright for basically nothing. It's the worse kind of business thinking. 

And I've succumbed to it too just because I've needed the cash. I hate that it comes down to this. But it has... and more than once. At this point, I've taken on gig work like DoorDash just to avoid seeking out a more standardized job. I'd rather not be beholden to somebody else's schedule and demands. But I can't quite make such work substantial enough to pay bills so I'm always drawn back to ghostwriting. 

But what about my own books, you might be asking. 

Ah, that's the worst part.

I've not been writing much at all when it comes to my own fiction. I've started a small town romance but it's been in limbo mostly because of all the other books I've done in between. Instead of concentrating on my own work I've been a damn ghost. 

I put the breaks on everything lately and actually stopped to take a good look at where I'm at in life here lately. Yeah, it was probably spurred on by my 46th birthday, but it needed to happen. 

I need to stop and recognize that the path I'm on right now is the wrong one. The question is, what's the right path for me at this point.

My life is in something of a shambles right now and I need to find a way to set things right. That's the truth. 

So, here I am, a confused guy but also still writer, looking for a way to make those very old dreams come true and actually make a living a fiction writer. But on my own terms.

Anyway, maybe I'll come back to the blog with more thoughts as I attempt to sort this mess out. 

Wrong Turns

Everyone takes a wrong turn now and again whether it is in their career or their life. We often have no idea we've take a wrong turn until we've traveled a few miles down the road. It is only when we stop, pull out the map, or maybe get out of the car that we realized we've blundered. Sometimes, it's small error but sometimes its big. Or maybe it's become a pattern of errors when keep making. 

But, if we're lucky, we reach a moment where we can take a moment to consider the wrong turn. Maybe we even turn around and try to back track to reach the turn we should have taken. Instead of belly-aching about it, we actually do something constructive about the situation. We try to find a solution that might just help us get to where we want to be. We certainly don't keep going the wrong way!

At least that's what I'm hoping.

I'm at one of those crossroads right now. I've stopped on the road and consulted the map. Hell, I even got out of the car and took a good hard look around me just to get a sense of how far I've gone off course.

It's almost April. The first, full quarter of 2024 is almost wrapped up. The last time I typed a word here it was to post an update at what became a failed attempt at National Novel Writing Month this past November. I didn't finish a book. I'm not even sure what derailed the process for me at this point. Maybe I jotted something down in my journal. I'm not going to look to find out. 

It doesn't matter. The past is the past. I'm sitting here in the present and I'm wondering what I need to do to get back on the right path. 

You might be wonder what in the world I'm talking about. Admit it. You're asking yourself that question. In some coming posts, I will try to answer this, mostly for myself, and maybe you, dear reader, if you're curious.

I'll be back tomorrow. 

NaNoWriMo 2023: Day Thirteen

Well, today was a slightly better. I was able to get a couple of pages worth of writing done on the novel. I got 524 words and advanced a chapter forward a bit. So, it was a win. I'll take it.

Interesting to say this now, but I probably shouldn't have tried to do National Novel Writing Month this year. However, now that I've already begun, it would probably be worse to quit now. I'm nearly 10,000 words behind where I should be at this point in November, so my word counts have to be much higher if I have any chance of hitting 50k by November 30th. 

I'm stewing on this information. Trying to be real with myself too. I've miscalculated things before, so this isn't new territory. It's led to missed goals and failures to finish books in past attempts. 

I'd like to break the cycle this time. 

Wish me luck.

NaNoWriMo 2023: Day Twelve

A short one because I didn't write a word today. It was a bit of a rough one honestly.

So yeah, 0 words written. 

Let's see how tomorrow goes.